Ocean City, MD

Day 1 - March 15, 2025

I am going to commit to the bit in a way I haven’t for my last two trips. I am going to begin writing and relaying my adventure whether or not there is anything to share. But I guess, in order to begin on this current trip, I need to back track and share about the two that I skipped and the reasons that I didn’t write anything. 

In November, we had a week off of school for Thanksgiving. If you know me, you know that Thanksgiving isn’t a holiday I hold near and dear to my heart, so I opted for a getaway in the woods in Vermont. My trip mostly consisted of sitting on a couch in my Airbnb as I read I Hope This Email Finds You Well by Natalie Sue. I also visited Ben & Jerry’s, and I hiked through the mountains near my Airbnb. The whole entire trip was about relaxing and getting away from my job and my home (which is where I work), and it was refreshing to be in nature. 

Then, in January, we had a break for Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. I was not on duty, so I decided that it was time to get away again. Over our winter break, my cousin visited for Christmas, and then my dad, sister, and nephew came for a different part of the break. We went on adventures and explored Boston and Massachusetts, and it was absolutely lovely. However, I was unable to leave campus for the duration of that time. When our three day weekend came, I decided to take the opportunity to travel to Newport, Rhode Island. I began to write an adventure notebook such as this one, but I realized that my trip was kind of boring. I purchased a tour guide that split into three different parts. One was a driving tour of the mansions, another was the cliffs, and then the final one was a cemetery. I began my day by driving through the sites to see the mansions and listen to the information. Once it was dark, I went to my hotel to settle in, get dinner, and relax. The next day, I finished the driving tour, completed the walking tour of the cliffs, and then went to this really random cemetery. I can honestly say that Newport was a lovely place to visit. The ocean walk on the cliffs is breathtaking and the mansions are truly remarkable. I understand why it’s an easy weekend getaway. 

As you can see by these quick recaps, they were nice getaways, but they were nothing like I normally do, where I jam random adventures into my trip. It felt like they were short escapes from my busy life as a way to catch my breath before getting back to my job. I guess this is the time to recap my life since I have left Michigan and share the other side of my new life. 

It is wild to live where you work. There are perks to it. Free housing and utilities. No commute - meaning no spending money on gas. (Seriously, I fill up my gas tank and it lasts two weeks, if not longer!) However, there are downsides. It’s like you’re always at work. There is no real shift from on to off. In my past, my thirty minute commute was a time to amp myself up and calm myself down on my way to and from work. It was a transition. Since I do not have that in my commute anymore, I have to give myself these reset moments during our breaks. I have talked to numerous colleagues who have given me the same advice that when we have breaks, it is important to allow them to be a reset. I felt it strongly during the Vermont trip as I felt a sense of calm and the ease of my soul returning to my body. A physical reset that told me I had needed an escape. 

I digress from all of the background information, as I head into this current adventure. Though, I have a feeling that a weaving of tales from the past few months will enter the story as the next few days unravel. For the record, I truly love and appreciate my new life and the world that is unfolding for me. I love who I am becoming, and I love the adventures that I get to embark on. I absolutely love that I get to be whoever I want to be, and I get to share what I want with people, and I get to reinvent myself. I don’t think that I see a future in which I live in Michigan again. (Though, never say never.) I love the way the world has opened up for me, and I think that it will continue in this manner for as long as I follow the string of guidance from my spirit guides and the benevolent spirits who seem to know what is best for me. Life is meant to be hard and challenging, but in my soul, I know that I am continuing to choose the best choices for the life I want to be living. I know that I am on a path to find the people who have similar mindsets and life goals, and I love where I am heading. I am grateful to the universe. Always and forever. 

Alright. I digress again. Though, I am absolutely having so much fun with the tangents and following my brain down these paths. It is fun to write, knowing that others will potentially read it, while also kind of not caring about the reactions to my internal monologue.This is a schrodinger's cat situation where no one and everyone reads it. It doesn’t matter either way.

Our spring break began on Saturday, March 8th. Our schedule breaks into three trimesters, and after each term, we have a break. The past week, I watched Home Improvement and deep cleaned my apartment. I read books for my job and for my class I am enrolled in. The weather has been gorgeous, so I have spent time on walks. My friend Skylar and I did the circus class on aerial silks. Going into the break, I decided that I was going to rest and then listen to what my body and soul needed from me. It’s a large part of why I rested and relaxed. I’ve been watching Home Improvement because I have been longing for a feeling of home and familiarity that I have been missing lately. I realize that there is a call to find that feeling in Massachusetts, but it is hard when your life is consumed by your job and various responsibilities. It is something that I am going to continue to explore, and I hope that this summer, I will have the time and space to truly sink in to where I am. 

After I completed my tax return, I started to play around with the idea of leaving Southborough and exploring some more. I opened Airbnb, and I searched for places that were ocean and beach front properties. I began on the east coast. However, it was super expensive to stay near the ocean, so I slowly moved the map down the coast, and I ended up in Maryland. Once I discovered Ocean City, I decided to look at hotels in the area to see if I could stay somewhere cheaper and with a restaurant, and I discovered the Grand Hotel, where I ultimately booked a room. It was about a six hour drive away (until this morning when I went to leave, and it said that it would be a 7 hour drive), and I knew that it was basically traveling to Mackinac Island, so I could easily commit to a 6 to 7 hour drive. 

During my drive, I listened to a few episodes of Beautiful/Anonymous and then Drama Queens. Since I have no commute and any time I am listening to audio, it is a book for school or my book club, I have fallen substantially behind on the podcast realm. It is honestly depressing to see that both podcasts are stuck where I left them when I left Michigan, but it was nice to catch up with my old friends and hear stories that I have been missing out on. Sadly, there was an accident in New Jersey that slowed my drive down by one entire hour. It was miserable just sitting and waiting in the car, thinking it was only a 15 minute delay. Once that cleared up, I was able to move relatively easily through the rest of the drive.

Upon arriving in Ocean City, the fog was thick in the air. I was able to check in to my room, and I got to my ocean view room to see a hazy view of the ocean. When I went to move my car, I walked down to the beach and took in the emptiness of the sand and basked in my appreciation for the sound and beauty of the water. It might be ridiculous to explain, but my heart feels like it beats differently when I am near water. It feels like my soul sinks deeper into my body. It feels like any hardship and frustration melts away, and I am calm and at peace when I am in nature. I know that I have said it in other versions of my writing, but the goal is to one day live on the water. I see a future in which I have a home that is situated next to the mountains and the sea. My friend Zoë and I have joked a lot lately because we discussed how I think I see a future where I live in Maine. As I explained it, she had a That’s So Raven moment, where her soul left her body and came back with a picture of my future spouse. He is a sea captain in Maine. We both see his face. He has a beard and wears a beanie. He has crows feet and a tan. I don’t think he is going to be my spouse for a bit of time, and I think he will have at least a daughter, maybe two, who will be my step children, but knowing me and who I am, they will be my daughters. If this is truly the future, I think that we will happily live in Maine and enjoy the beauty of everything I am describing. (I also want to note that we all have decisions and choices to make in our life. This person is one hypothetical version of my future if he and I make the decisions that lead to one another. This also very much might not be THE person or one of the people who I spend all or part of my life with… Only time will tell.) 

I shall digress again, and I hope that this is the final time I allow myself these side moments, but, if I am being honest, it is the side moments where I get to share what sits in my heart and the vulnerability of my writing, so I doubt that they are done. But I decided to head to one of the hotel bars to have dinner and a drink once I came back from the beach. At the bar, I sat near three women who are from Maryland. (I should note that everyone is out celebrating St. Paddy’s day, so it was a lot of drunk people celebrating a ridiculous holiday.) They were decked out in St. Paddy’s garb. Obviously, they had the headband and necklace situation that one would imagine a woman would wear. The woman who sat next to me chatted with me about things I should do while I am here. Apparently Delaware has no taxes, so I should do some shopping there before returning to Taxachusetts. She works for a school, as does her friend. They were very sweet women. Once they left, there was another woman who came to get a drink, and she started harassing the bartender. Mind you, this man was BUILT! His arms were HUGE! She kept badgering him, so he ignored her and walked away. He would help ANYONE around her, except her. She was mouthing to her friend, who was on the other side of me, that this bartender was an asshole. Her friend was hilariously telling her that she needed to stop. He told her that the bartender's arm was the size of his thigh, and he didn’t feel like dying tonight, so she needed to stop making a scene. He said the bartender’s elbow looked like a cankle because the arms were so jacked. As someone who has almost started a bar fight once (where I was clearly going to be the bystander), I love that this woman and her friend has this conversation. I love a little chaos. Eventually, they walked away. It is a joy to sit and listen to random conversations of people - to be a fly on the wall and to sometimes be a part of the randomness. 

I have come back to my room to write this entry, and my heart feels so grateful to have this moment of quiet and reflection. I truly have not a single plan for this trip, so I am excited to see where this ends up. I am excited to bring whomever is reading this along for the ride. 

Day 2 - March 16, 2025

This morning, I didn’t set an alarm because I had absolutely no idea whatsoever what I was going to do with my day. I woke up after 10, and I checked my messages. Deb (my friend and fellow 7th grade English teacher at Fay) had texted me that she enjoyed this writing and mentioned that I should have a side gig as a travel journalist. My friend Genna and I have talked about this in the past, using Emily Henry’s The People We Meet on Vacation as what I could do. I have also purchased a web domain and tinkered with the idea of starting a blog with this purpose, but my life is all consuming, so I don’t think it is in the stars. However, I do have a goal to visit all 50 states and write about the experiences. Maybe once that is done, I can take all of these journals and bring them to a publisher. A memoir in essays of sorts. Especially because I think each of these acts as a journal for where I am in different moments of time. I could use my other journals to supplement the materials. Who knows… I enjoy writing these, and it’s also okay to enjoy something without monetising or broadcasting it for the world to see.

Once I got up and got ready for the day, I searched for ideas of what to do with my time. I saw that there was the Ocean City Life-Saving Museum (only open Saturdays and Sundays during this season) and Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum. Both were located near the south end of the boardwalk. While it might rain tomorrow and be crummy, I decided to do both today and then tomorrow would be tomorrow’s problem. Before I left, I went to the coffee shop located at the hotel to get a breakfast sandwich and coffee. I went back to my room and attempted to eat on my balcony. However, it was too cold and windy, and I came back inside to sit on my chair and stare out the window and consume my breakfast. Once I was finished, I went back downstairs and outside. I followed the boardwalk. During the walk, I chuckled as I listened to a family ask if the two daughters could please just take a photo together because they never do. I passed a magician with a crowd of people as he asked them to watch the scarf and see if they could find it. Then, my favorite of all the acts. A man with a harmonica, playing and singing “Soft Kitty.” I texted Kaitlyn (my high school and college friend) about it because I was transported back to her childhood bedroom, where Genna, Kaitlyn, and I would lay on her bed with her portable DVD player, watching episodes of Big Bang Theory, as it was Sheldon’s song he would make Penny sing to him whenever he was sick. Her response was that it was a random song to be singing on a boardwalk, and I definitely agree. I am curious as to how it became that man’s go to song. 

As I got to the end of the boardwalk, I saw the Life-Saving Museum. Upon entering, I saw the trinkets of the gift shop and made my way to the cash register and waited to be helped. The price for entry was only $6, and it was honestly a fair price for the experience. You entered into the first part, and it was information about how the building was transported from its original location. There was a section with sand from all over the world with information about the varieties. I stared at this section for a long time, and I was mesmerized by the different colors and textures of the various types of sand. Next, I was able to look at their fish tanks. The woman who works there told me that the fish were brought in from the actual ocean by a volunteer. She told me about the different fish. I asked her about them and how long they typically stay in the tanks, and she said that whenever they outgrew them or it didn’t seem right for them to be there any longer, they would put them back in the ocean. She mentioned they previously had a bottom feeder, but she didn’t like taking it out of the tank to feed it, and it was quickly returned to the ocean. The one fish was becoming too big and would soon be sent back as well. As someone who is normally against zoos and other forms of captured animals, I liked that they borrow these animals, tend to them, and then return them. It seems like a respectful way to manage and appreciate the animals without hindering them from living their normal lives. 

After the aquariums, I went upstairs to see miscellaneous items. The first room talked about the surfing trends in Ocean City. The second room talked about women creating Ocean City into what it is today. I appreciate that this museum had a lot of information about women's contributions. It was the majority of the information presented. After this information, I went back downstairs to see a boat that would have been brought out to save people on sinking ships. There was also a mechanism that was shot into the ocean and would be fastened to a sinking ship and then one person at a time would get into the life raft to then be coiled back to land. It was fascinating to see how it was used. Again, I think that for everything I saw, $6 felt like the perfect amount of money for the experience. Before I left, I was encouraged to take tour books to help me plan the rest of my stay. 

On my way back from the Life-Saving Museum, I stopped at the Ripley’s Believe It or Not Museum. I remember the tv show from the early 2000s, so I thought it would be a fun way to spend some time. Once I got inside, I went up the stairs, and I saw a Zoltar machine, and I immediately went downstairs to get change to play with the fortune teller. The woman needed to call the manager, but said that someone had recently left their fortune behind and her manager had given it to her, and it was very spot on. I said that it was exactly why I wanted to play. As it produced my fortune, it told me that hard work is important in the long term, as it pays off eventually, but rest is important in the short term, and it pays off immediately. He suggested that I take a break and understand that rest is important for both the short and long term. (Okay, but who told this hunk of machine that I needed to hear this?) I took my printed fortune and read: “You are very quick tempered. Quick to get excited and quick to cool off. This will cost you some dear friends. Next time something happens to you, slow down and choose to respond with logic instead of reacting with emotion.” I started to laugh because my emotions are very quick. They get very high and very low, very quickly. I think I have been given this advice by my former boss and dear friend Paul or maybe my friend Jon… (honestly, they are very similar humans, so probably both). I will take the advice and try not to be so quick with my emotions. 

I wandered around the museum, and I will say that I don’t know if I will come back to a Ripley's museum. There’s something unsettling about the information shared. Maybe some of it is outdated (like the “Oriental” section). Maybe some of it just makes my skin crawl (like the man who is turning into a reptile and tattooing his skin, cutting his tongue, adding a tail -  for the record I definitely remember that man was on the tv show). Either way, it was interesting to walk around and read/watch information, but I don’t think I would be interested in going back. I am not one for “freak shows” and uncomfortable information. Although, I did see hair from both Lincoln and JFK on display. Didn’t realize that a museum would hold on to that. I also saw a few wedding dresses made out of toilet paper (imagine those hoarders from 2020 with their lifetime supply of TP paying off whenever they finally get married). Some other artifacts were simply torture devices. I am curious if every single Ripley’s is the same because I have a feeling that each of them is essentially the same). 

Before I left, I saw a different type of Zoltar machine that needed my zodiac sign. I paid another dollar to be told “While money may make you smile, wisdom is more worthwhile. You are a very serious person and have had little time to relax, but you realize that success will only come from your own effort. Perseverance pays: I see great happiness in store for you.” It’s funny that both machines told me to relax. I promise, with this new term, I will have some downtime, and I will embrace all of it to relax and enjoy as much as I can.

On my way back from the museums, I stopped at Fisher’s popcorn. It was a recommendation from my St. Paddy’s day friends. (I want to share that I imagined fisher’s popcorn to be a mixture of various seafood and not actual popcorn, but it was a seaside version of a Garrett’s popcorn.) Once I got back to my hotel, I bought a water from the vending machine on my floor (it stole my change, but it accepted my dollars at their value, so my $2.50 was actually $3.10), and I went into my room. I tried the popcorn, which was a mix of caramel and cheddar, and I will say the cheddar ruined it for me. It is a very bright orange - think cheetos - and it is very salty. The caramel portion was very delicious though. 

After my snack, I decided to finish out the boardwalk, not realizing that my hotel is near the end of it. I decided to walk along the beach and finally settled on a spot to sit and relax. I wrote in the sand and listened to the ocean. It was as if the entire beach was my own. Off in the distance on either side, I could see people, but I ultimately was alone. Ocean City feels like a place that is packed in the summer and would be disappointing because it’s so stereotypical of a beach town. Being here in this off season feels like the time when I would enjoy it most because of the dead energy. I like how quiet and peaceful it is without people. 

Hilarie Burton Morgan says, in her book Grimoire Girl, that there are different types of water, and whichever one you associate with tells a lot about you:

Different Attractions to Water

• River People: Describe a deep connection with continuously flowing water, embodying change and adventure. 

• Ocean People: Characterized by their comfort in return and familiarity, they find solace in the rhythmic nature of ocean waves, drawing peace and relaxation from their presence.

• Lake Friends: Represent calm surfaces with hidden depths; they are associated with mystery and enjoyment but may also harbor unknown secrets.

• Bayou People: These individuals are adventurous and resilient, navigating uncertain paths much like the waterways they love.

• Pool People: Described as those who prefer control and cleanliness; they enjoy a tidy environment, reflecting their organized lives.

I keep thinking about this inquiry as I sit by the ocean. In the past, I would have associated with a lake, as I come from the Great Lakes State. However, being near the ocean and listening to the rhythmic nature of the waves, I am drawn to the return and familiarity. The peace and relaxation. Either way, I know two things for certain. I am not a pool person, and I am not a river person. I am not familiar enough with Bayou’s to have a stance on if I like them or not, although a photo of one has me thinking that I would not associate. My dear reader, do you think you associate with any of these types? I would love to know your thoughts. 

Once I got too cold, I decided to walk back to my hotel. (Mind you, I am wearing my thermal leggings AND winter jacket.) I went back to my room, and I needed to decide what was next. As I charged my phone, I got under the covers and turned on the Big 10 Network to watch Penn State and Nebraska’s Men Gymnastics. I am massively impressed by the movements these people can make. It is intense how they can hold themselves up and flip themselves around. I have nothing but respect for anyone in the sport. 

For dinner, I decided to take another suggestion from my St. Paddy’s friend (as well as the many positive reviews on the internet), and I went to Liquid Assets for dinner. It was a liquor store that was also a restaurant. I ordered a salad and then some pulled pork. As I was eating, a lovely retired couple sat down next to me. The man was wearing a green beret. The tv was playing some information about March Madness, and he asked me if I saw what it said about U of M. I told him that they had won the Big 10 championship, and as an MSU graduate, I hate seeing good things happen to them. We laughed because he said he was bitter they beat Maryland by a point. The bartender overheard our laughter (but really mine) and said that I was his favorite. 

The couple and I had a long conversation. We began with Tim Allen, since I mentioned that I was from Michigan. I mentioned my rewatch of Home Improvement, and he suggested Last Man Standing. He said Last Man Standing was his comfort show, and he turns it on whenever it’s about 9 o’clock. I understand. Both are good shows. (I feel compelled to add a disclaimer about my opinion of him as a person, but in writing it, I deleted it. I will take him and his art for what it is. I will take what I like and leave the rest.) 

The man suggested that tomorrow I go to a diner for breakfast and then I go to Assateague Island to see the wild horses. He said that the speed limit is 20, but I should go even slower and watch carefully, but once I see one horse, my eyes will know what to look for. He said that once I do that, I will be grateful that I didn’t leave without doing it. I am taking this man at his word, and I plan to listen to his suggestion. He continues to come back to Ocean City to vacation, and he said that it is always a must-do on his trips.

The next people who sat down next to me (on the other side from this retired couple) were a drunken couple out celebrating St. Paddy’s. I had mentioned that I was shocked by the amount of people celebrating in this place, and I was told that there was a huge parade that happened this weekend. The drunk couple (who are in their 50s) told me that their children (who were 19 and 21) and them had accidentally joined the parade. They would pick up beads and whatever and then throw it back into the crowd for the kids to pick up. (Disclaimer of information - this couple was not married. They have known each other since they were in their 20s, but life took them on different journeys. They both had kids with different people, so both of them have a child who is 19 and 21 or at least in close enough ages. Sometime in the past two years, they reconnected and started to date.) They sent their children home and decided to spend a final day together in Ocean City. The man was HAMMERED. Apparently he was a few Irish Car Bombs into the night. She was a lot more tame than he was, and she kept apologizing because he would ask a question and then cut me off. Her name was also Stephanie. They asked me about my parents and where I am from. I briefly mentioned my parents, and Stephanie and I bonded over our mothers not being the kindest women. We talked about how it’s made us into the people we are and the empathy it’s taught us. The drunken man kept saying that she had the biggest heart and then would express how beautiful he thought she was. He told her that he wanted to make out with her later. They were a mess, and they did not stay very long, but they were definitely entertaining.

Once they left, the retired couple decided to leave as well. I was waiting to cash out when these two women took the seats next to me. They were so snarky with the bartender - in the bantery way - where one said that she wished she could be more like that at her job. I wholeheartedly agree with this woman. I miss banter. It is a rare trait when someone can mock you and you can mock them back without any hard feelings. It is an art form. (I am seeking bantering and witty people. Most people I encounter are very serious, and they do not want to be playful. The only person I have met recently is a man from volleyball who trash talks me whether or not we are on the same team. It makes me very happy. I am working to befriend him and his girlfriend. It has been marked as my task from Skylar.) 

Her friend was also hilarious. When I finally got up, I told them thanks for the laughs. The friend said that I am welcome to laugh at them anytime, and I had to correct that I wasn’t laughing at them, I was laughing with them. They agreed.

Now I am in my hotel room, listening to the thunder and rain outside. I missed my opportunity to take a shower earlier, but it will be okay. I am going to spend tomorrow in my car, as I see the wild horses, and then we will see what else the day has in store. For now, I will watch some $100000 Pyramid until I go to bed. 

Day 3 - March 17, 2025

Again, I didn’t set an alarm. I figured the morning wasn’t supposed to be super nice, so it wouldn’t hurt to sleep a bit. When I woke up, I looked at my phone and saw a message from my friend Jon. It was letting me know that the verdict for Kc’s murder had been decided. Some back story for those of you who are unfamiliar with who Kc is - he is a former student I had in my first year at Port Huron High School. The year after he graduated, he was murdered. I keep writing and deleting a lot of information here because I have a lot of complicated thoughts on the situation. What I will say is:

1. I was asked to write a letter on behalf of Kc during the trial, and I struggled because of the impact that such a statement could make. Ultimately, I know that our justice system has tremendous faults and whether or not I said kind things about this student truly wouldn’t drastically change the sentencing of the case, and I know in my heart who I believe Kc to be and felt like it was my responsibility to put that on the record. 

2. I have asked Kc for guidance in that decision, sending many prayers and requests for what he would want, and I believe that what I did was the right thing and what he would want. To share more about myself in a vulnerable way, I sometimes have prophetic dreams. I am not psychic, but I think that there are messages I am sometimes given from a benevolent place that are meant for either myself or other people. I try to share when I think it’s meant for someone else, and I have had other people share that the insight is helpful and meaningful to them. I give this background to say that recently, I had one of these dreams from Kc. In my dream, he was telling me that he is okay. He is grateful for me, Meggan (my former colleague and friend), and his mom. He needed all three of us to know that. (I messaged Meggan because I needed her to tell his mom, and I got a reply telling me that his mom had been praying for a message from him all morning, needing to know he was okay. I had goosebumps then, and I have goosebumps now. See? Not so woo-woo crazy…) During this dream, he also wanted me to know that everything is as it should be and to not feel guilty for my letter and the verdict that was to come.

3. A 15 year old child is not able to make a decision that he should have to live with for his entire life. Until we are 25, our brain is not fully formed. That boy was failed in so many ways that led him to that July night, and he is failed by our justice system that turns boys into men. I do not know that boy, and at this point, I know I never will. He took away the life of a young man who I was very fond of, and that will never be okay. I hope that he is able to learn from that choice, and I hope that his soul is learning a lesson he needed to - he is righting a wrong. I hope that if he is released in 22 to 32 years, he is able to reclaim his life and make amends. I hope that his life isn’t wasted and lost as well. 

4. My heart is saddened at the loss of Kc’s life. He touched many people’s lives, and there is a void that was created when he was taken. There is no amount of punishment that can undo what was done. It is a shame we cannot see the man that Kc would have become. 

5. To his friends and loved ones, if you’re reading this, I am so severely sorry for your loss. He was a true friend and kind soul, and I know that part of you was taken that day as well. Bring Kc into your future and learn from his wonderful traits. Have a smile on your face and let things roll off of you. Step up and speak up for what is right - even if it’s telling your friend or superiors that they’re wrong. Hold his integrity and kindness in your heart and in your actions.

As you can probably tell, he was on my mind a lot today. On and off, I would think about this information and reflect on everything I know. I will trust my message from Kc that things are as they should be. I will trust that he is okay and sees the bigger picture. I will try to release everything else. 

If you’re still with me, I am going to change the mood from the somber and sullen one that we are starting with to something a little lighter. After I got ready, I got in my car and headed to the diner I was suggested by the couple at dinner. It was called the Decatur Diner, and he was absolutely correct that I would have driven right past it had I not known it was there. I ordered cinnamon raisin french toast with bacon and coffee. I do not enjoy eggs at breakfast places - they’re meant to be made at home. If I am at a restaurant, I want the things I am not going to make myself. My waitress kept calling me “babe” in an endearing way, but it feels like a strong term of endearment for a stranger. 

Once I left the diner, I headed to Assateague Island. Before going over the bridge, I stopped at the welcome center, and I read a lot of information about the horses. There are two herds that are divided by a fence at the Maryland/Virginia border. Within the two herds, there are smaller bands of two to 12 horses. They are wild, so you should not try to feed or pet them. The horses eat the grass, which is covered in salt from the ocean, and many of them get bloated as a result of needing to drink more water due to the salt. According to my understanding, which could be incorrect about the information that is state-dependent, in order to manage the population, the MD side essentially has a birth control method that limits each female horse to one child. The VA side rounds up horses once a year, chases them off the island, where they have to swim to the other side. Then, they auction off the horses. It’s apparently a huge thing that brings a lot of visitors. (If they aren’t state dependent, I do know I read and heard about both things today, so I know that both things happen!) If you would like to read more about this information, you can read the book series Misty of Chincoteague by Marguerite Henry. I haven’t read it, but numerous people have mentioned it in regards to this island and the gift shop sold copies.

Upon leaving the welcome center, I drove over the bridge and onto the island. The Maryland side splits into a state and national park. I followed the road to the national side, and I paid my $25 for a week pass, even though I will not be going back again. However, I am my father’s daughter, and I truly do believe in conservationism and funding the state and national parks. (There was a few year stretch when I renewed my tabs that I would get the rec pass and not use it and then the following year I wouldn’t get it and end up needing it, so I would pay more for the pass. In complaining to my father about it, he pointed out that the money goes to preserving and maintaining nature, and I shouldn’t be upset that my money went to that cause. He is right!) I took the advice from my dinner friends and drove as slow as I could, and I was rewarded by seeing some deer. I snapped a photo on my phone and sent it to my dad, and I called them baby deer. He was quick to correct me that it’s not the time for fawns, and they had to be does. They were very short and small, so my father and I went back and forth about it. Turns out, they are not White-Tailed deer, but Sika deer that are smaller in stature. 

I drove around the island multiple times, pulling into the parking areas to get out of my car and walk around on the trails to see if I could find some horses. I felt like I had to be missing them or not registering that they were there. I thought that I could probably take a photo with one behind me and not notice that the horse was in the photo. During one of my stops to walk around and explore, a family asked if I had seen any, and I asked if they had, and they shared that they too were lacking in the experience. By this point, I started sending questions to the internet about why I couldn’t find them. It turns out that they are more active in the early morning and late afternoon, and I was at the park in the middle of the day. Silly me. As determined as I am, I decided that I was going to see one before I left, but if I couldn’t see them in Maryland, I would travel the hour into Virginia to see them there. I found a boat tour that mentioned it was a possibility, so I considered the timing and started to drive back to my hotel for a quick stop before going to Virginia. As I was driving to the exit, I was taken aback by how many cardinals were on the side of the road. I had seen a few earlier on my walks, but there were at least 30 cardinals sitting on the ground, with some fluttering back and forth. I stopped my car to take it in. I have never seen that many cardinals at one time. (I attempted to take a photo, but you can see about five of them if you look real closely. Didn’t do it any form of justice.)

Just as I was about to take that for the win of the day, just after I left the national park exit, my eyes put together the shape of a horse standing on the side of the road, next to the trees and grass. I had to blink my eyes to make sure I was seeing it correctly and that I wasn’t so desperate I was hallucinating! But there it was! A real live horse. As I kept driving down the road, I saw another horse standing on the side of the road! I eventually turned around to see them all over again! 

As I am writing this, I am amused by how exciting it was to see these horses. I am not a horse girl by any stretch of the imagination. I wouldn’t really consider myself an animal person, but most people correct me because I do tend to enjoy seeing and playing with animals. I also have seen horses before. It’s not that this is a foreign animal that my eyes have never seen. The fun of the day was in seeking out and looking for something that you don’t know if you will find. There’s the possibility that it’s there and you’ll be lucky enough for it to be out when you’re near. I also think that part of the fun and excitement came from the disappointment. All day, I was trying so hard to find them, and all day I failed, but then, once I finally gave up, there it was. An appreciation stemming from the almost miss. There’s a lesson here that I think my soul is learning. Sometimes we wait and we search for something, but it’s outside of our control and desire. If it’s meant for us, it’ll find us. And what makes it more amazing and amusing and special is the adventure to get there. In the misses and disappointment. A victory after defeat. 

I took a brief pause at my hotel to put on my contacts - it turned out to be sunny and relatively warm. I also officially booked my boat tour on the Virginia side. Once I was ready, I got back in my car to venture to the island again. My drive was relatively uneventful. However, the boat company called to ask if I was going to be in town later this week and if I would want to reschedule because I was going to be the only person on the boat. Since I would be leaving tomorrow, I said I wanted to still do it today, but I would be okay if they canceled. They said it was okay to do the tour with just me. After I saw another cardinal, I jokingly called Zoë because I had the thought that maybe the cardinals are a sign that since I was going to be the only person on the boat with the captain that this might be THE captain from the vision. She rudely didn’t answer, so I had to leave a voice message telling my humorous joke to her. (Although, she did text me that she thought it was funny.) When I got to the boat dock, I saw that the captain was wearing a Carhartt jacket (go Michigan based companies!) and a beanie. However, he was not the man that Zoë and I envisioned. He also had a wedding ring on and was much older than I was. He slightly reminded me of my dad. (As Zoë said, we crossed one captain off the list!) 

Our tour was just the two of us. He showed me that there was a float for some catches to keep them fresh in the water. We drove along the coast. He taught me about the various birds we saw. Over the tall grass, there were some horses in the distance. He said the time of our tour is when there tends to be some movement from the animals, but there’s no real pattern to their behavior and you never know where they might be. Some days, they hang out in the woods, and others, they go into the water and spend some time. He brought me to see where the Poneys are shooed off the island and make their way across the water. We saw this big cross that is up in honor of all the people who go into the ocean and don’t come back. There is a lighthouse that was originally built at the end of the island, but since it was built, more land has surfaced, so it’s not at the end anymore. Overall, we shared some small talk, and I was happy to be in a boat on some water. The man had a deep appreciation of nature. It was really nice to have a private tour. I am grateful for the losers who cancelled because the weather was bad this morning. He said that when it’s not nice in the morning, the water normally evens out by the evening, and it is normally a really nice trip. I would highly recommend this company if you’re ever in the area.

After the boat tour, I went to get food. The captain had recommended a place called Teaguer’s (pronounced like Tigger’s). When I got there, I was baffled by the parking lot. Each spot held two cars, where one blocked the other car in. As someone who didn’t want to be blocked in or to block someone else in, I had a panic moment. I decided to park at the business next door because it didn’t seem like it was busy. I was going to give this recommendation serious consideration. However, I walked in, and it was filled with locals. I think some of them were playing bingo. Every single table and bar stool seemed to be taken. I was told there were two options for where I could sit - either this huge booth that could probably sit 10 people or a tiny table at the end by the bathrooms. Clearly the booth felt ridiculous, so I went to the tiny table. Some people put their coats on it, and I stared at it for a moment, until I decided my anxiety was too much to navigate this situation. I am sure that it was a local spot, and it seemed like a nice place to be a regular at. As an outsider, it was not for me. I quickly hurried for the door and when I got to my car, I made a plan for an alternative restaurant.

The next restaurant was called Ropewalk. I went to the bar and sat down. I ordered a drink called a “Crush” - these things are dangerous as they taste like there’s absolutely no alcohol within them whatsoever. That being said, it was a lovely and refreshing beverage - probably one of the best drinks I have ever had in my life. With or without alcohol. I asked the server what he would recommend, and he said the crab cake egg rolls. Part of my plan for dinner today was that it felt like I needed to get seafood. It was why the other restaurant was recommended. Since I asked for the recommendation, I followed it, but I didn’t have super high hopes. I even looked up my journal from Alaska because I thought I had eaten crab cakes there and didn’t enjoy it, but I thought that this would be different because I was in the prime spot for crab. They came, and I enjoyed it, but I didn’t eat all of them, and I probably wouldn’t order them again. I also ordered other food because my hopes for the crab related part of my meal was low. I was disappointed in the food, and I ate a portion of it before deciding I was done. It wasn’t the best meal I have ever eaten. However, I think I just did a bad job of ordering. It wasn’t the restaurant’s fault. What I will say is I enjoyed the most beautiful sunset at the restaurant. I had to go outside to take a photo because the sky was so mesmerizing. 

Overall, this was a very good day. I almost want to venture to say it was one of the best days I have had in a long while. It was fun and amusing, chasing after something. For a side note, there’s a day from 2018 when Megan and I went to dinner with some of my new friends from PH, and on our way home, we saw the sky was bright orange, even though it was nighttime. We discussed the light and what we thought it was, and we decided to try to follow it. I was driving through small town, dirt roads until they ended and I would have to turn; we followed road after road until it ended, and I needed to choose a way. The entire time, we laughed at our mayhem and ridiculousness. If you are one of my Michigan people, we ended up near Paumac on Cuttle road in Marysville, looking at the pipes in Canada burning off propane. We took dirt road after dirt road from Capac/Memphis to Marysville. She and I still talk about how we followed the random light in the sky and how much fun it was. Today felt like that. Following the random whims in the pursuit of something silly and inconsequential. It was a lovely day. 

I am sad that I am finishing my trip tomorrow, but this was exactly what I needed it to be. I will update if there’s anything worth sharing, but for now, I am signing off. XOXO Gossip Girl (Or maybe it’s more of a Carrie Bradshaw and I couldn’t help but wonder where my next adventure would take me!) Good night!

Update From My Return: 

My lovely friend Zoë attempted to banter with me because she was worried she was part of the serious people at work. It was a terrible attempt because I don't think she knows what banter is, and it does not come naturally to our relationship, but it was the thought and attempt to fill a hole that is greatly appreciated. I appreciate that someone loves me enough to attempt to meet my needs. Just a reminder that that version of love exists, and we don't need to contort ourselves and dilute what we want and need in relationships of any and all types. Our people are out there.