My Boarding School Life

I am currently sitting on duty, bored out of my mind because I am in a different dorm than the one I live and work in. I started my res life duties today at 2:30 since it's a long weekend, and I will work until 11 pm tonight. An 8.5 hour work day after my usual work day. Since I worked this evening, I went to the gym at 5:45, so I have been up since 5:15. It has been a long day, and I really would rather be cozy on my couch. 

This isn't a complaint. Not really. Just the reality of my current situation. While I am bored and tired, I know that I am essentially being paid for such little output other than being an adult, supervising students who are currently watching videos or playing games on their laptop or phone. Would I rather be decompressing somewhere (anywhere) else? Absolutely. However, I absolutely love living and working in such close community with others, and I am finding myself grateful for the configuration of my current life. 

For those of you who don't know or are unfamiliar with the intricacies of boarding schools, as I was a mere 16 or so months ago, you are completely invested in your job. You are all in, all the time. 

All of my friends are my colleagues, so we spend a lot of time discussing the politics and dynamics of our school, even when we aren't working. It is intense to be so invested professionally and personally because all of the boundaries get crossed and blurred. 

As an example, I told a story to my friend within ear shot of a student, and he went to tell a different colleague and friend the story because he thought it was hilarious. (The story is not one I will share here because I don't know who actually reads these, and I don't want to stir up anything that I don't need to. Just know that someone said something absolutely ridiculous, and I wanted to tell my friend its absurdity.) 

The personal and professional also get mixed up when you invite someone to participate in something you do for fun outside of work or when you are frustrated by one half of the person. There are often times you have to separate the colleague from the friend and/or person. 

Overall, I think that is something a lot of us have to do with people, and it is not unique to boarding schools. We understand that humans are complex, and some people are better suited in some areas than others. That's okay. 

(This goes for students as well as colleagues. Not all love/enjoy sports, and they don't always bring their best selves into those spaces because they despise being there or any other variation of the "triple threat" ways adults are interacting with students.)

There is no real hiding who you are because you are always showing up. As a coach or athlete. As a teacher or student. As an adult or child. 

In writing that, this might be why I like this environment. I love transparency and honesty, and when you are on stage this much and this often, it is very hard to hide your true colors.

Is it hard to be on stage this often and this much? Absolutely. There is a lack of privacy because there are (security) cameras and thin walls and open windows. At times it can feel like everything can crash down because you say something that you shouldn't out loud or to the wrong person. 

But at other times, you are sitting in your car, waiting to turn it off because you are listening to your favorite song, and your friend is clearing snow off his car, and he jokingly flicks it onto yours. It is walking over to your best friend's house to bring her coffee, and you get a huge hug and to see your favorite kindergartener brushing his teeth, getting ready for the day. Or even still, it's being on duty, needing a coffee, so you text your friend, and you walk to her house for a to-go cup and a cupcake. 

I don't think that I will live and work at a boarding school for the rest of my life. I mean, never say never, but this feels like a phase of my life, and if I am being honest, a foundation for an idea brewing in my mind. 

With that knowledge, I am appreciative of the community that I am surrounded with. I can rely on those around me to help me jump start my car or lend me theirs if I need it. I can ask for an ingredient and know that someone has it. I can really trust the bonds that I have built. They are so deeply entwined with the various facets of who I am and who they are. I am fully present as myself, so I am known.

(Gosh, I am sounding like an ad for the boarding school life because this is the "why" for so many people who choose this lifestyle. Seriously, if you don't believe me, look up a boarding school and then see if they have some variation of "we know the whole child".)

While it, at times, can be miserable to live and work at the same place, it can also be magical. I genuinely have stumbled onto something so special. I love the life I am building, and I am grateful that I have found such profound love, connection, and community. 

Thank you, my lovely friends who happen to be my colleagues. You have made my life immeasurably better. ❤️🫰