Dear Cupid,

I am writing in anticipation of your upcoming holiday, trying to get this in before the major rush comes at you for those last second requests. For what it's worth, my request doesn't have a time-table, and I understand the amount of pressure you have on you to meet the demands of all the people searching for love. Please accept this request for when you have a moment of time to fill.

You see, I would really like to be sent a crush. Well, let me be completely honest, a crush isn't all I want, though it would be a nice starting point. I realize that it has been a while since I felt giddy about someone, and I am craving that sort of feeling in my life. You know the one, where you kick your feet at the playful banter and flirty messages.

I will admit that at my age, I don't want something to waste my time and attention. I don't want someone too immature to know what they want or are too afraid to actually pursue me. I don't want someone playing games. I want someone who will know the value I have because, let me be clear, I am a catch. Someone who will love my brain and independence and isn't insecure or toxicly masculine. Someone who won't downplay what I have to offer or make me feel like I am too much to handle. We both know the type that I am referring to, and I have dealt with too many insecure men for this to be cute any more. Not at this age.

The type of man that I want to find is one who is secure in himself, so he will know that he is lucky if he is partnered with me. The kind of person who is a safe haven for those hard days when I just want a hug or a shoulder to cry on. But let me be clear, I hope that we have much more laughter and that light-hearted banter than those hard days, but I want someone who can balance both sides of life. I want someone who can take care of themself and in return take care of me. Someone who will feel appreciative when I choose to pour into them because they reciprocate that affection.

As you can see, I want someone who is my equal. A partner. I do not want to be responsible for someone else's well-being, even though I understand that we live in a patriarchal society. I want someone who understands the unfair balance of labor in marriages that tend to rely on women taking on more tasks and does what he can to divide that division of labor equally. Or as equally as it possibly can be.

On top of this, I want someone who loves to travel and who will plan surprise trips. Someone who can appreciate getting away and adventuring, but who will also understand that I will be grouchy if I get too hungry or don't have the alone time I need. I want my world to be opened to new and exciting hobbies and experiences as a result of this pairing.

If I am being completely honest, I think that the man I am seeking has children already. (I am going to put this here in case I meet someone who has children and then people question me of whether or not I am okay with that.) Let me be clear, I have an unlimited amount of love in my heart and life for other people's children, which is part of why I am a teacher, so I wouldn't say it is a deal breaker for a man to have children. Honestly, it would be a relief to be able to be in a young person's life while they grow and not have to risk my own life for them to come into existence. I promise, Cupid, if you send me someone who has humans with another woman, I would never see that as a negative attribute. I only would hope that their relationship ended in amicable terms, so we all can be a unit for the sake of the child(ren).

To go off of that last point, I hope that the person I am seeking understands that I don't have a strong desire to birth a child or children from my body because I think there are other things I am supposed to birth from my mind. (Again, I will put this in writing in case I ever do have a child... I can see myself as a mother, but it would take meeting a very specific person to make that an opportunity I want to pursue.) While I can see potential children in my future, I would prefer them to be in the form of niblings and step-children (who will be treated as if they were my own). My preference will be to have someone help me birth some idea or creation (maybe a school?) into existence because he will have some knowledge and experiences that will be crucial for that creation to be successful.

So Cupid, if you know of anyone fitting this tall order, can you please help guide us in the direction of each other? I am sure that on your many outings, you know of some man who could be a compatible match for me.

Please also understand that there are many facets of this human that are completely open for you to fill in with whatever traits you deem as complementary to mine. I genuinely do not have a type because the personality always dictates whether someone is attractive to me. The personality traits described above will be the most desired in a match, and I will have a hard time accepting anything less than a lot of the qualities mentioned.

Thank you, Cupid, for hearing me out. I look forward to seeing the person you send my way. 😉

Kindly,

Stephanie